What Makes a Good Home Care Match for Your Parent?

A good home care match starts with what your parent wants help with and how they want that help offered. One person may look forward to chatting while lunch is prepared. Another may prefer a quiet kitchen and a caregiver who asks before moving anything. Talk through those details before the first visit, then ask your parent what they would keep or change once they have had a chance to try the arrangement.

Start with what a good day looks like to your parent

Ask your parent to walk you through an ordinary day. When do they like to get up? What do they look forward to? Which tasks would they welcome help with, and which would they like to keep doing themselves? Give them time to answer before you offer your own suggestions. If they want someone else in the conversation, ask whom they would like to include.

Pick two or three priorities to share with the provider. For example, your parent might want help preparing lunch but want to choose the meal, or want company on a walk while setting the pace and route. Describe the kind of help your parent wants in those moments. The Administration for Community Living describes person-centered planning as an approach led by the person receiving support. Administration for Community Living: Person-Centered Planning

Talk through routines, privacy, and communication

Ask the provider how the caregiver will learn your parent’s preferences before the first visit and how changes can be shared later. A short note with your parent’s input can cover their preferred name, usual mealtimes, and where they like everyday items kept. If a routine matters for a particular reason, write that down too. For instance, your parent may want the table cleared a certain way so they can still find what they use after lunch.

Discuss privacy in plain terms. Ask how the caregiver would offer help with dressing or grooming, what they would do if your parent declined, and how they would respect private rooms or belongings. Agree with your parent on who may receive updates and what those updates should cover. If your parent uses a preferred language or likes time to think before answering, ask how the provider would account for that during visits.

Check in after the first few visits

Make time for a private conversation with your parent. Try asking “What did you like about the visit?” and “What would you want to go differently next time?” If the answer is vague, ask about a particular part of the day, such as lunch or getting ready to go out.

When you share feedback, describe what happened and what your parent wants to change. For example, “Mom would like to choose what to wear before anyone opens her dresser” gives the provider a specific request to discuss. Agree on when you’ll check in again. Raise concerns about safety or disrespect promptly with the provider. The National Institute on Aging recommends revisiting plans for help at home as needs change. National Institute on Aging: Aging in Place

A checklist for comparing home care options

• Ask your parent which tasks they want help with and which they want to keep doing.
• Share a few routines or preferences that would make the first visit feel familiar.
• Ask how the caregiver will offer help, respect privacy, and respond when your parent says no.
• Agree on who can receive updates and whom to call with feedback or concerns.
• Set a date to talk privately with your parent and review any changes with the provider.

Frequently asked questions

Does my parent need to share hobbies with the caregiver?

Shared interests can give people something to talk about. Ask your parent what they value most during a visit. They might prefer conversation, quiet company, or a caregiver who takes the time to explain what they’re doing.

What if my parent and I have different priorities?

Ask your parent to describe the part of the day they most want to keep familiar. Share your concern using one specific example. Then ask whether there’s a way to offer help that respects their preference, and agree on when to revisit it.

What if the arrangement still feels uncomfortable?

Ask your parent what they want to change, then call the provider to discuss the concern and ask what options are available. A change to the visit routine may address a specific concern, and the provider can explain what other adjustments are possible.

To talk about help at home for your parent, call Helping Hands of Beverly Hills Home Care Services at (818) 585-6790. You can also explore our home care services or visit our contact page.